Alright, so obviously you're wondering about my title.
Yes, I am a single bachelor now. Again. No biggie.
"It's not you, it's me." makes me sound like a total douche, but listen closely, because I didn't say that and that's not the situation. The actual problem was that we weren't compatible, but I'll get to that later.
Tuesday, June 19th
So obviously you knew that Jessica and I had been disagreeing on some things. AND TO BE TOTALLY HONEST WITH YOU GUYS, That's NOT why I broke up with her. Yes, I did the breaking up, not her. I broke up with her because we were spiritually not compatible.
Yes, I can admit that it wasn't right. Though it was only roughly 6 1/2 months we had a relationship, my first serious relationship, mind you, it was still a growing experience for me. I think we both would have realized this eventually and it honestly is a tragic break up.
I'll get to why later in the post content... For now, let's just move on.
Before I broke up with Jessica, I had breakfast with my youth pastor, Michael, and Bethany, and he was really there for me. I didn't want to break up with her without talking to him first, because his advice is always honest and he has really been the first man in my life I've honestly looked up to.
My dad has always been here, but we have had more of a hate relationship over love and, even though it's grown in the past month or so, I can't honestly talk to my dad yet about my personal life or anything related to getting/giving advice.
Side note: Keep in mind, I've only ever had 2 friends in my life that were guys. And as of RIGHT NOW, Michael excluded, I have ALL girl friends. Just a little tid bit of information to hold onto as you read.
So Michael, Bethany, and I talked and we even went to church after breakfast and prayed. A lot happened that day. And by that, I mean A LOT! I had to really let go of my fear and really let God take control in my life. It was really hard, and A LOT came out. I say that again, because it really was a truly HARD day for me and it honestly sucked. It sucked for me in so many ways! And to so many extremes!!
Trusting in God was so hard for me since everyone else in my life had failed me, but I'm glad I took the step in faith because God will NEVER fail you.
Wednesday June 20th
I say that I'm glad I took the step in faith, because...
Wednesday night, I got filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke in tongues!! It was so incredible, it was truly an experience I had been needing and waiting for and longing for so badly!! I love how God can just pour down his love and make you feel like the most incredible person in the world. I felt like I had so much power and love and joy and happiness all at once.
It was like God, himself, was wrapping his arms around me and giving me a hug. It was amazing!
Thursday, June 21st
THURSDAY WAS SO FUN!!!
STORY TIME CHILDREN (Gather round!)
So I totally went to Sam's house for the first time on Thursday (Bethany's BFF and now my friend), and we hung out for an hour or so. Depends, I didn't look at the time. But I know that I played with a Teddy bear!!! IT WAS SO COOL!!! And a foot stool, but that's a minor detail. IT WAS SO FUN!!! Bethany even has a video on her phone of me being goofy with the bear. SO COOL!!!
Anyway, I spend time with Bethany a lot since the camping trip. She's my total best friend.
Friday, June 22nd
Honestly, the only thing needed mentioning is that Bethany and I talked to Michael again and it was really helpful because we needed to clarify some things. Michael is always helpful, so he met up with us and we ended up talking for three hours!!! WAY COOL VISIT!!!
Up until now, Bethany and I have hung out pretty much every day. The best part about Bethany is that out of ALL my friends, she is the ONLY Christian believer in my friends. She understands where I'm coming from and the struggles I'm facing with my religion, my spiritual beliefs, and even life!
Bethany builds me up as an individual, she gives me advice, and is even willing to pray with me when I need it. She cares about me, doesn't tear me down or, in any way, act negative towards me. She is understanding and knows that I'm not perfect. She understands my past, believes in my future, and accepts me for who I am today, that's why I hang out with her so much.
OH! I need to talk more about my break-up with Jessica, huh? Yeah, it was hard to do, but at the end of the day, I'm helping Jessica find God's true match for, faster. And is it wrong that we're spiritually uncompatible? Nope. I even tried being best friends with her still... But, to be honest, I couldn't do that.
It was still to fresh a wound when I broke up with her and Michael was right when he said that it'd be a miracle if we stayed friends. Well there aren't any miracles happening, I guess, because I had to unfriend Jessica from Facebook, Stop texting her, and unfollow her blog. It sucks, I hate it, but I know it was the right thing to do. I had to delete any connection I had to her.
I wish we could have stayed friends, MORE THAN ANYTHING, but I know that I did my best. I just have to trust in God that everything worked out as it should and will continue to work out as it should...
That's a lot of information to digest, right? And I haven't looked at Jessica's blog lately. I don't know if I can. But now you know what's been going on in my life and this blog post was WELL NEEDED!! I just know that I'm a stronger believer now and I love it. I can't go back, I won't, and with my strong Christian supporters by my side, I know I'll be fine...