Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Sorta, uhh... Single now... Ish

Alright, so obviously you're wondering about my title.

Yes, I am a single bachelor now. Again. No biggie.

"It's not you, it's me." makes me sound like a total douche, but listen closely, because I didn't say that and that's not the situation. The actual problem was that we weren't compatible, but I'll get to that later.

Tuesday, June 19th

So obviously you knew that Jessica and I had been disagreeing on some things. AND TO BE TOTALLY HONEST WITH YOU GUYS, That's NOT why I broke up with her. Yes, I did the breaking up, not her. I broke up with her because we were spiritually not compatible.

Yes, I can admit that it wasn't right. Though it was only roughly 6 1/2 months we had a relationship, my first serious relationship, mind you, it was still a growing experience for me. I think we both would have realized this eventually and it honestly is a tragic break up.

I'll get to why later in the post content... For now, let's just move on.

Before I broke up with Jessica, I had breakfast with my youth pastor, Michael, and Bethany, and he was really there for me. I didn't want to break up with her without talking to him first, because his advice is always honest and he has really been the first man in my life I've honestly looked up to.

My dad has always been here, but we have had more of a hate relationship over love and, even though it's grown in the past month or so, I can't honestly talk to my dad yet about my personal life or anything related to getting/giving advice.

Side note: Keep in mind, I've only ever had 2 friends in my life that were guys. And as of RIGHT NOW, Michael excluded, I have ALL girl friends. Just a little tid bit of information to hold onto as you read.

So Michael, Bethany, and I talked and we even went to church after breakfast and prayed. A lot happened that day. And by that, I mean A LOT! I had to really let go of my fear and really let God take control in my life. It was really hard, and A LOT came out. I say that again, because it really was a truly HARD day for me and it honestly sucked. It sucked for me in so many ways! And to so many extremes!!

Trusting in God was so hard for me since everyone else in my life had failed me, but I'm glad I took the step in faith because God will NEVER fail you.

Wednesday June 20th

I say that I'm glad I took the step in faith, because...

Wednesday night, I got filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke in tongues!! It was so incredible, it was truly an experience I had been needing and waiting for and longing for so badly!! I love how God can just pour down his love and make you feel like the most incredible person in the world. I felt like I had so much power and love and joy and happiness all at once.

It was like God, himself, was wrapping his arms around me and giving me a hug. It was amazing!

Thursday, June 21st

THURSDAY WAS SO FUN!!!

STORY TIME CHILDREN (Gather round!)

So I totally went to Sam's house for the first time on Thursday (Bethany's BFF and now my friend), and we hung out for an hour or so. Depends, I didn't look at the time. But I know that I played with a Teddy bear!!! IT WAS SO COOL!!! And a foot stool, but that's a minor detail. IT WAS SO FUN!!! Bethany even has a video on her phone of me being goofy with the bear. SO COOL!!!

Anyway, I spend time with Bethany a lot since the camping trip. She's my total best friend.

Friday, June 22nd

Honestly, the only thing needed mentioning is that Bethany and I talked to Michael again and it was really helpful because we needed to clarify some things. Michael is always helpful, so he met up with us and we ended up talking for three hours!!! WAY COOL VISIT!!!

Post Content

Up until now, Bethany and I have hung out pretty much every day. The best part about Bethany is that out of ALL my friends, she is the ONLY Christian believer in my friends. She understands where I'm coming from and the struggles I'm facing with my religion, my spiritual beliefs, and even life!

Bethany builds me up as an individual, she gives me advice, and is even willing to pray with me when I need it. She cares about me, doesn't tear me down or, in any way, act negative towards me. She is understanding and knows that I'm not perfect. She understands my past, believes in my future, and accepts me for who I am today, that's why I hang out with her so much.

OH! I need to talk more about my break-up with Jessica, huh? Yeah, it was hard to do, but at the end of the day, I'm helping Jessica find God's true match for, faster. And is it wrong that we're spiritually uncompatible? Nope. I even tried being best friends with her still... But, to be honest, I couldn't do that.

It was still to fresh a wound when I broke up with her and Michael was right when he said that it'd be a miracle if we stayed friends. Well there aren't any miracles happening, I guess, because I had to unfriend Jessica from Facebook, Stop texting her, and unfollow her blog. It sucks, I hate it, but I know it was the right thing to do. I had to delete any connection I had to her.

I wish we could have stayed friends, MORE THAN ANYTHING, but I know that I did my best. I just have to trust in God that everything worked out as it should and will continue to work out as it should...

That's a lot of information to digest, right? And I haven't looked at Jessica's blog lately. I don't know if I can. But now you know what's been going on in my life and this blog post was WELL NEEDED!! I just know that I'm a stronger believer now and I love it. I can't go back, I won't, and with my strong Christian supporters by my side, I know I'll be fine...

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Camping Trip weekend

I should be able to feel totally capable of being honest, right? Yes, I should. But with some people who I used to, I suddenly don't. It's sad and really upsets me, but no matter what, I don't see the same things anymore I used to. But life finds a way.

Monday - Wednesday (6/11 - 6/13)

Jessica and I got in a fight. And it got bad. Very heated, very fast. Things were said that hurt me. But I won't go into details. And I tried my best not to hurt her, but she was being very... hard to agree with. It sucks and made me sad, and maybe I shouldn't tell you about the fight, but I'm going to anyway, because it is all so clear in my head still and maybe this will help me.

The Fight

Monday - Jessica got mad because Bethany drove me home from work and stayed over. What Jessica said was that "Bethany invited herself over" and "used me". To be honest, by letting her drive me home, she was invited to stay. I didn't expect her to spend the night, but it was fine with me. Bethany is my best friend.

Tuesday - Jessica began to tell me that I treated Bethany like a "girlfriend" and that it made her look bad, when she wasn't even hanging out with us on Tuesday.

Wednesday - Bethany came over after church and hung out with me, played Wii, and watched Netflix. At this point, Jessica was really mad at me because I miss read a typo she text me and she thought I had gotten mad for her accusing me of cheating when only Jessica's dad accused me and she says she stood up for me. But she was hurt that I would think that. I don't know. She was beginning to freak out over the smallest thing.

I figured that Jessica was jealous of all the time I spent with Bethany, which I found out later she was. Bethany and I didn't really hang out much as of late. We didn't hang out every weekend like Jessica and I do. I figured it was fine to see Bethany 3 days in a row.

Not to mention, Jessica just walked away from our conversation Wednesday night and I was 97% sure she was going to break up with me. Bethany was there and helped me stay calm. I was freaking out.

But because of that, my dream of our beautiful future vanished. I know everyone has faults, but all I have are friends that are girls. I have no bro's. None of my friends are guys anymore, which isn't by choice. Is that only a picture of how she'll feel in the future? I was just super confused.

And apparently, the camping trip was looking less fun day by day... and sadly, it was. Ish.

Thursday

I don't remember, but Jessica and I were still fighting over this stupid nothing. That I remember all to well.

Friday

We left for LPR (the acronym for where we stayed) at around 5:20pm.

Side note: I had convinced Bethany to go camping with us on 4 different occasions at this point and I was not going to let the opinions of others change my mind.

We left and got there, after making Bethany drive her car down there alone, and after having to sit in a car next to my girlfriend, who sat there with a frown and didn't talk to me. I felt like things would be better if Jessica hadn't been so jealous of my relationship with Bethany. We were just best friends.

Anyway, we get down there and get all set up and sleep there the first night, which was fine.

Saturday

We make some headway and Bethany and Jessica make amends, but there are still altercations I won't say. Let's just put it this way...

Imagine this guy...

A happy, care-free fellow, I am!


Screaming at all of his friends in an uncontrollable rage, because she (Bethany) overheard a few opinions about her, all because I didn't walk with my girlfriend, holding hands and looking cute, but instead walked with Bethany, back from the baseball field (a 8 minute walk).

Because I have a strong opinion and "raise" my voice, Jessica FREAKS OUT! She walks past me saying, "Don't touch me, I'm leaving!" and goes to our tent.

WHAT?!!

She acts as though I planted a bomb to my chest and insisted she play the polka or I'd blow everyone up. I was just standing up for Bethany, because she's my best friend and I won't stand for her to be mistreated. In doing so, I had to tell Jessica that I felt bad and I regretted it and it was a douche move.

Did I regret it though, NOT EVEN A LITTLE SMIDGE!! When I stand up for my friends, you better be damn sure my opinion will linger awhile.

I just didn't want Jessica to be upset because I love her. She just didn't want to listen to me this weekend.

Not to mention that because I can't talk to Jessica, I couldn't ask her to put sunblock on my back before we went swimming and got a terrible and just completely awful sunburn! It hurt so so bad too!! Just my luck. Whatever that means.

Also it rained and Bethany wanted to leave her tent and sleep with us. Which by the time it rained, Bethany and Jessica talked and were fine with each other again. And still our to right now I believe... I hope...

Side note: I will never look at bugs the same way after Saturday night... They now scare me twice as bad and I want to scream for my mommy when I see them. Some man I am, but that's what my girlfriend has to live with. Cool for her, right?

Sunday

After barely sleeping, I got up at 4am wanting to throw up. Jessica followed me out of the tent and walked with me but it was awkward. I feel like Jessica knows how to made me feel awkward and bad, and I feel like she used that a lot. I was a bad weekend for me. Not as I had planned it.

It seems harsh as I read it back, but it's how I feel and no matter what anybody does, I will always have my opinions. Sorry if that disappoints you. I am who I am. Love it or leave it.

But when we were leaving to go home, we planned to stop by Sonic and when Tracy wouldn't pick up the trash, I decided to ride with Bethany because it was a 5 minute drive. Boy, I felt like I got the glare of death from Jessica, WHO TOLD ME EARLIER THAT SHE WAS FINE AND WANTED ME TO HANG OUT WITH BETHANY!!

It's like girls talk in riddles or something. And not the typical riddles. I know of those. I'm talking crazy foreign, I wanna steal a rabbit form the park and do experimental dangers to it for fun but only show you a cute puppy dog smile riddles.

WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?!! Seriously, I am not seeing where I am faulty in this at all. I have 3 friends. If they can't get along for 2 days, what's that tell ya? Way to much, that's what.

When I took Jessica home at 4 o'clock, we took her stuff to her room, she half hugged me, I told her I loved her, and she told me, "You should go back to your bestie before she get's bored.", because Bethany was at my house waiting to chill for a few hours.

I could tell that she hadn't moved on. and I was not sure how to respond so I just left. I faked a smile as my mom and her dad talked and then I left.

And what Jessica doesn't realize is that now I'm feeling MORE WELCOME when I'm around Bethany. Bethany is there for me, she is my closest best friend, and I will be her friend for a very long time! Jessica is only going to lose in the end if she makes me pick a friendship. Trust would be useful in this situation too. It's what most couples rely on.

But I'm taking my space now and giving Jessica her distance. I'm half way showing her what it felt like and also setting a path for our future. It'll make more since on this upcoming Friday (or sooner, perhaps)!

As I posted on Facebook...


I don't want anyone to get hurt, but if things work out, nobody will. I just want a flawless week. That's all I want.

Was camping worth it, I honestly don't know. All I wanted to accomplish was make my best friend and girlfriend get along. That failed so hard. It was like trying to fit a live whale in a small box of animal crackers. I didn't work and the box was in pieces.

As I always say, let come what may.

As for now, I'm so done with reflections. I'm just going to give her silence until Wednesday. Nothing but total and complete silence. And I know my sister, who's APPARENTLY her best friend (which I don't approve of), is going to try to talk me into texting her with guilt, but it won't work. I am beyond trying to understand.

And Jessica can get as frustrated and upset as she wants at me, but I'm getting to the point dating her has become to much for me right now. I need time to breathe and think and then I will get back with her, but if she keeps doing this, I'm just going to snap.

And that worked so well the first time.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Nintendo All-Access @ E3 2012

Nintendo All-Access Presentation @ E3 2012

Nintendo All-Access Nintendo 3DS Software Showcase @ E3 2012

To share lightly what you've just seen, SAVE YOUR CASH EVERYONE!! THE GOOD STUFF'S COMIN'!!! YIPPY!!!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Mr. Flu and his two sisters

I once knew a man named Mr. Flu. He was a kind man, very smart and intellectual; but he had a small bladder. One day, Mr. Flu came to me and asked if I was feeling well, for I had spent the day with him and was beginning to feel ill.

I turned to him and said the following, "I feel pretty bad Mr. Flu, I feel God awful..."

He understood and gave the me the rest of the night alone to feel better. Turns out, I only got worse. I made many visits to the restroom and had terrible stomach pains. I was dying in the body of a sexy and youthful boy. It just wasn't right. I deserved to die old and ugly, with a wife who made me that way, but NO! ALAS! Destiny had other plans...

3 days past and my decrepit body finally great back to the youthful and, as always, sexy man I rightfully was, but only for a price. Turns out Mr. Flu had two sisters who had been hanging out for... friendly visits to my sister and also my girlfriend. They had been talking about life, the game, naturally, and how it was so sad nobody played anymore.

Soon after there visits, I found the virus of death and sex appeal thieving was back and had claimed the life of my own flesh and blood, my sister! Also, it had stolen the beauty that was in my girlfriend. The bastard had struck again and I only thought they were my friends...

A week went by and finally, after constant attention and care, and a quarantine for my girlfriend, we were finally well again and ready to seek vengeance on the foes who had so cleverly wronged us. We traced them down to an IHOP off Highway 291, but the trail stopped there and we had no way of finding them. They had put us in check mate.
.
We were sick. They were gone.

The situation was upsetting.

And that, my friends, is the story of Mr. Flu and his two sisters. The clever crew who threw us for a loop, thanks to the fine dining served at Red Robin.

Damn that slippery bacon. Damn that bacon to hell.