Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I really am a messed up kid, huh?

Okay so I have realized that some things just need to be left alone. I've also learned that life is a sweetly bitter success ride down Plain street. I swear to God I have issues but I don't want to confront them. Oh well, guess I can just keep it to myself and you guys forever huh?


Sooo yesterday kinda sucked. I had to go all day without my phone and when I did turn it on around 6pm, I text Jess and watched TV. When I went to bed, well... I called Jessica. This is the part of the day that got me thinking I need help. Oh well.

I called Jessica and she answered but didn't talk in the phone for about 30 seconds because I heard the TV in the background and somebody laughing. I heard the TV. It was The Big Bang Theory. Jessica loves that show and so do I, she let me borrow season 2 from her, but that's not the problem. When she talked to me, I told her I wanted to say goodnight so she quickly said, "Alright. Good night." and acted as though I was actually BOTHERING HER.

I don't know, maybe I was over reacting, so I quickly said, "Alright well, uhh... I love you, good night." She replied with, "Shortest convo of our life." and she giggled. I just said, "Yeah... Night." and she said, "Bye." and I hung up right away and threw my phone on my bed and just started to rock on my back back and forth.

I am a MORON!! I am the biggest moron EVER!! I can't believe I lost sleep from my own stupidity. I couldn't get to sleep for about an hour, my mom watching TV didn't help either. I just thought about how I wished I had talked to Jess. I feel like I was being stupid and she could have cleared it up right away... I feel bad now. I feel like a terrible boyfriend.

Anyway, As I was in Tech Theater on  Monday, I was around Tiffany and we were moving this heavy shelving unit and for some reason, I felt like I had to "prove myself" so I picked it up and moved it as quickly as possible to show off my raw strength. I felt dumb afterwards because I almost smacked Tiffany with a huge board, but at least I lifted the heavy board and moved it. Ish.


I woke up and text my brother Alex Happy Birthday and sent Jess a good morning text. She said I was acting funny from my texts and I don't know how she knew from my texts. I played it off as "cool" as I could saying I was fine. Truth was that I couldn't bear to tell her that I was a little offended from Monday night. Maybe offended isn't the right word... disappointed? No... Gods, now I'm just sounding stupid. I can't think of the word and I don't want to upset Jessica.

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Maybe I am messed up. I get upset over the stupidest things. I can't rationally understand somethings and I can easily get confused, which is funny for my friends, but confusing for me. I just wish I could have had a better start to my week. I hope my phone gets here fast. I want to call Jessica when I get home but I have to "Save my battery" and now I can't talk on the phone more than 10 minutes or it'll run down my battery. UGH! Having a janky phone SUCKS!! Rule of thumb, If you get a blackberry, don't get the blackberry style...

I'm not going to try to "prove myself" anymore, I feel as though I did that in an attempt for us to be friends. I can't force a friendship, even if she told me we were friends. I just wish it wasn't an "awkward friendship", y'know? Guess I have to live with this because of my stupid blogs. Don't worry, it's not the first time this has happened.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

HA! Be envious! BE JEALOUS!!

Okay, I'm a little devil boy, I didn't go to church AGAIN this week. Sunday or Wednesday. Sue me, I had other things come up again. I love church and God is always going to be #1 in my life, but I can't always make it. And I put down Wednesday nights as available to work so I won't be going to youth every week now. Just when I'm not working. I need the money and I hope that my church friends can understand that...


So I didn't go to church, I slept in. Oh, my bad... Is God going to punish me? *looks around* Guess not. Oh wait! HE LOVES ME NO MATTER WHAT!! Sweetness, I think that's worth praising him, right? Yes.

Side note: This is going to be out of order so matter how I edit my blog so I'll just say it. I went to the sprint store and they told me my phone won't charge, they have to order a new one, and they gave me 3 extra batteries for my phone to last me till NEXT WEEK when they'll call MY CELL PHONE and tell me when my new phone has arrived. HOW WILL MY PHONE LAST THAT LONG!!!??? Oh well.

So I slept in on Sunday and got up around 9:45am or so. It was totally epic because I got to see Jessica again!! We actually ended up getting to see "Gone" on Sunday because my sister was feeling better. The only thing was that before we went, a few hours earlier, Jessica and I were upstairs kissing when we heard a car door close. Lewis and Alexia randomly showed up to our house....

I text Hannah and I guess it wasn't randomly because they had asked before they showed up. Oh well, I guess I won't get as many kisses now... Mehhh.

Side note: I think Jessica has steadily let me kiss her more and more in public, but she just doesn't like kissing me excessively because she knows that it's something we need to do in private places. I don't know. Now that I have a girlfriend, I get why some people like PDA. They wanna say, "HEY! LOOK AT ME!! I GOT A HOT GIRL AND YOU CAN'T HAVE HER!!!" which Is totally what I'd be saying if I was holding Jessica's hand or kissing her in public.

Well Jessica and I hung out until 1:45pm or so when we left to go to the movies. Only one catch. Now Tommy is going with us. Oh well.

The movie was REALLY GOOD!! I just love Amanda Seyfried! She is such a great actress and I've seen almost all of her movies... Well not really, just like 5, but they were good movies!! Jessica loved the movie too, but we didn't like the 5 minute climax ending scene, it was a let down. But I would totally buy that movie, that's for sure!! It sucks that "Gone" is #9 at the box office the day after and movies that have been out for a week now are above it making more money still...

Anyway, the rest of the night was pretty awesome! Jessica and Lewis taught me how to make burgers on the grill or on "Broil" in the stove. It was really helpful because I want to learn how to cook and be able to feed myself without screwing up. Good thing I will be able too now!!

After that, we played Hide and Seek in the dark until around 9:30 when people started going home, including Jessica... I was sad to see her go, but knew it would have happened eventually. I love her though and she knows that, I just hope I can finally reach the day where she doesn't have to go home, because she is home and I can hold her all night long.

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I hope my blackberry gets here soon, I love my phone, but the Blackberry Style is the worst Blackberry of em' all!! It's just not the right phone. It came out right before they had the cool new apps and updates and none of those are compatible with my Blackberry. Ugh. Guess that's life. Just so long as I get my new phone fast, I don't care. It's killing me not being able to text Jessica as much or call her.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Not how it starts but how it ends...

What can I say about Jessica that hasn't already been said? What can I say about my friends that makes them any EPIC...ER?!! I can't, so just know it. My life is awesome because of the people in it. Nuff said.


SATURDAY FREAKING ROCKED!!! I got to see Jessica and I walked almost 10,000 steps!! Well I'll explain the 10K steps first...

I woke up REALLY HAPPY on Saturday, I just wanted to dance and I was singing in my room when I woke up and I was feeling really good. I went downstairs and Hannah was hungry so she asked me for food, I was so happy that I offered to buy her food! My mom too. Well I was about to go get them food, I had the door open and I was happy and my  mom started to complain about it being cold, but It felt TOTALLY FANTASTIC outside and she was all the way on the couch.

Well I was talking to Hannah and my mom finally yelled at me, "CLOSE THE DOOR AND GET THE FOOD!!" so I got mad and slammed it in her face and walked away from the house. At that point, I wanted to say, "FORGET YOU!" and not buy them a damn thing. I felt like a damn robot and I felt totally used!!

Well I stopped behind the car where they couldn't see me and I thought for a minute. I eventually said, "Screw it." and walked to the store and got the doughnuts, but I was no longer WILLING to buy them doughnuts, just pissed that they'd made me go get them. use MY MONEY from work to buy THEM food. The ungrateful jerks!!

When I got home, I had a glare of death on my face and didn't say a word. I walked into the kitchen, opened the box and ate a doughnut right in front of them. They deserved so see me eat a doughnut. Not able to get one themselves. After I'd eaten it, I walked into the living room and sat across the room and ate another one, glaring at Hannah mostly, the whole time.

Eventually we spoke and I said she could eat a damn doughnut if she wanted. Hannah didn't believe me, but that's her fault. Well it got pretty ugly after that. My mom said it was pretty petty to act this way and I got so pissed the she couldn't justify what she'd done wrong so I .... Well, I cussed her out.

Side note: I've always been to afraid to cuss my parents out and I love my mom, I've never been this mad at her before, so I was so scared and shocked after I cussed her out.

I cussed out my mom and ran upstairs saying, "EAT THE DOUGHNUTS, THEY'RE YOURS!!!" and ran to my room. I slammed my door and jumped my bed and for the first time in a long time, I cried. I cried so hard and so long and I couldn't get myself to stop. I just wanted to cry forever. I felt so terrible for cussing out my mom, I never do that... I love my mom so much. I was so upset that it just happened and Jessica was supposed to come over soon and I couldn't be like that so I just cried and I text Jessica and she tried calling me and I ignored her calls because I was so upset, I didn't think I would be able to talk...

Eventually I just answered her phone call and we talked and she helped me feel better, but she was still not ready so I let her go get ready and I was so sad, I cried some more and eventually, I just walked downstairs, and without saying a word, I just walked outside and started walking. I walked and walked and I didn't stop walking.

I ended up walking all the way around my neighborhood and the one next to me, took 7,000 steps, and didn't stop until I got a text from Jessica saying she was at my house. I took the next turn I could and walked back to my house. I eventually got home and was no longer upset with my mom. For some reason, walking helped me let out my anger and I felt so much better!! It was awesome (because I didn't want to feel terrible)!!

Well Hannah, Jessica, and I were planning to see the movie "Gone" on Saturday but Hannah didn't feel good so we didn't see it. Instead we just took it easy and chilled out at home. Hannah and my mom ran some errands and Jessica and I hung out in my room and talked.

It was really fun spending the first half of my evening with Jessica, she is totally awesome and I truly love her SO SO SO SO SO MUCH!!!! Well later that evening, Kayla, Alexia, Lewis, Carolyn, and Nathan all showed up and we hung out and had a great time! Kayla made Chicken enchiladas and I thought they were yummy until I ate a tomato and had a spaz attack! TOMATOES ARE YUCKY!!! EWWWW!!!!!!

On the plus, we watched, "Fright Night" and it was a REALLY AWESOME MOVIE!!! We rented it from Redbox and it was totally worth the $1.20!! I would totally buy that one!!

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I will remember Saturday, February 25th, 2012 for the rest of my life. Not just because of how fun it was, but because my memories with Jessica will be forever. I can't wait till I'm thinking about this day years from now find a smile spread across my face like cheese on a ritz cracker. Gods, I love this woman and I love my life with her even more!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

I don't get sick.

I'm not sick, I just have a stuffy nose and sore throat. It's nothing to worry about.


I wake up with a couch and as the day goes on, i get a bad stuffy nose and sore throat. I'm not sick, this is a freak incident. 


I had to leave school after Advisory because I felt terrible. Again, I'm not sick, just a freak thing.

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Some may assume that because Jessica was coughing Sunday and I kissed her, that's how I got sick. Well HA! I'm not sick (remember that), because I can't get sick. Also, Jessica isn't sick, so she isn't a contributor to this freak thing some call illness. 

Remember: I'm not sick, This is just a freak incident.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Happy Birthday Jessica!

Well this weekend has been nothing short of perfectly awesome, which I'm thankful for! HORRAH! But I just can't wait to tell you about Sunday. It was fantastic. Simply, yet perfectly, fantastic!


Friday was fun, I traded a shift and hung out with Jessica on Friday. We ended up going to see Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance, which turned out to be a terrible movie! I couldn't believe how terrible it was! JUST AWFUL!!! I actually felt like I wasted my money!! That rarely happens, but when it does, you know the movie sucked!!

Reasons why: In the first Ghost Rider movie, it ended with Johnny Blaze and Roxanne together, but in SOV, she didn't even show up, he was riding anywhere to get away from light and a rogue man trying to escape his curse because he couldn't control it anymore. Also, speaking of his curse, the movie made him look like a hyped up drug addict when he changed into the Ghost Rider. Not to mention, he didn't talk or use his signature movie as the Ghost Rider. He would say one word cheesy lines. Lastly, the Ghost Rider got upgraded to look better, probably just for the 3D effects.

I recommend you save your money, but if your still curious, wait until it's one dollar at a movie rental machine. No need to thank me, I'm a blogger, I do this for the common good.


On Saturday, I hung out with Jessica at her house and her family celebrated her birthday. They had THE BEST CAKE EVER TOO!!!! It was a custom white cake with some sort of whipped cream frosting. IT WAS FREAKING AWESOME!!! I'm sure Jessica will put a picture on her blog, don't worry.

Well we pretty much took it easy and had a really fun time on Saturday, I got to hold Jessica and watch The Mummy: Returns with her and Tracy. It was an over-all fun night.

On Sunday, I went over to Jessica's house around 10am or so and watched the Big Bang Theory (season 2). When Tracy showed up, we continued to watch it, but also decided to play Dominoes, which was super fun!! It was really fun!

Well Tracy went home around 3pm and Jessica's dad drove us to the B&B Theatre we were going to for our date. Jessica and I wanted to see Journey 2 and because Tracy had already seen it the week prior, we didn't have to wait to see it anymore. AND IT WAS A GOOD MOVIE!!! YES!!!

Side note: After watching Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, I was afraid this movie would suck too! Thankfully it wasn't bad at all, but incredible!

The plot continued with the first movie (Journey to the center of the earth) and it opened up a third installment of the series at the end, which I would gladly go and see! I also can't wait to see that, if it comes out (probably going to be 2014 or 2015 before it's released though).

After we saw the movie, we went to Applebee's for some dinner, which was fantastic. We talked about writing, books projects, who inspires us, and things like that. Jessica is such a great listener, she doens't mind when I start to ramble or start side tracking (like the 'Side notes' on my blog). She just smiles and listens to me.

Dinner was fastic, I liked our waiter too, he was really nice. I think his name was Travis. Thanks Travis for a great nice!

We went home after dinner, which was around 8pm and we watched more Big Bang Theory until the disk we were on was finished. After that, we were too lazy to put on the next disk and decided to just talk for a few hours, which we did. We just talked to each other like it was the most natural thing in the world. We didn't have to hide anything, because we knew the other will listen. That our love is strong enough. It probably one of the move memorable nights of my life, because I with Jessica. I just hope her birthday turned out to be as fantasic as it did for me.

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Gods, I love Jessica! She rocks! I think Jessica and I have a very bright future ahead of ourselves. If we had both been members of Eharmony or Match.com, I think we would have still found each other, because we have SO MUCH in common and those sights match you based on similarities. I would never trust an online site such as those, but I'm just saying. My friend Tracy has a match.com account and I thought the reference made since. Ish.

Friday, February 17, 2012

The Last of the Demigods: The Missing Symbols

Book 1 of 3

Book Description

A life changing quest is about to begin...

Ben Errington and Paul “Stain” Austin thought they were just two normal teens living in San Francisco, California until they arrive on a mysterious island. Curious, they explore it, ignoring Mr. C.’s orders to stay on the boat. When they come upon a cave where torches light up themselves, they knew something was strange and after they stumble upon a snake-haired lady named Medusa, she tells them something that they just couldn’t believe: they’re demigods. Being the first to survive her stare, Ben demands answers from Mr. C. who confessed that she was right. He and Stain were demigods. He explains that the gods on Olympus need these symbols in order for the great prophecy to take affect and that Ben and Stain are the last of the demigods, the only ones who could even accept this quest. If they don’t, then the world will be doomed.

Paperback: 226 Pages

Publisher: Outskirts Press

Links to buy

Please support my girlfriend Jessica and best friend Tracy and buy the book they spend over a year co-writing! It would mean more than anything I can express!!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Oliver Twist during intermission

I got to see Jessica on Thursday night. That made me quite happy. I was very pleased to see her, very pleased indeed. Wait, why am I speaking like a crazy person? GAHH!! Next paragraph!


So Jessica came over at 6pm and we hung out until the Musical at my school, Oliver Twist, was being played. I had to go for 100 points in my Tech Theatre and Stagecraft classes, but I also wanted to see it regardless. Jessica so kindly agreed to go see it with me, because I didn't want to go alone to see a musical, I didn't know how that'd make me look, but she likes musicals too so I was glad she agreed to go.

Well the musical was just fantastic and I absolutely loved it!! I can't believe how awesome it was either, just fantastic!! I could go on forever, but no matter how much I rant about it, it's always going to be truly a fantastic and one of my favorite musicals my school will probably EVER do!

During intermission, I was checking my texts and my friend Tracy had text me saying in all caps, "THE BOOK HAS BEEN PUBLISHED!!!!!" I flipped out and decided to show Jessica the text, which made her began to FLIP OUT!!! Jessica called Tracy and they freaked out together, then Jessica called her mom and THEY freaked out together and I WAS SO HAPPY FOR JESSICA!!!

Side note: I will post a seperate blog for you guys so you can know about the book, but this is an ACTUAL FICTION BOOK!! Jessica, my girlfriend, is now an official, real, author!! Like Rick Riordan, Stephenie Meyer, and J.K. Rowling, Jessica Willis has co-written a book with my friend Tracy and THEY HAVE OFFICIALLY PUBLISHED IT NOW!!!

*Ahem* anyway... After the musical was over, Jessica and I hung out at my house and watched the big bang theory for about an hour before we decided to take Jessica home because I get to see her on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday again! I usually only get to see Jessica once or twice a week, but to see her for 3 days in a week is truly a fantastic pleasure and it makes me super happy!

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I can't wait until Jessica and I get to college! It's going to be a truly fantastic experience that I know I'll remember forever! I'm sure Missouri Northwest doesn't have crazy parties, but even if they did, I probably wouldn't go, like the big bang theory on episode six of season one, I cannot socialize at parties. I am the quiet guy who sits on the couch and waits for someone to talk to him.  I can't can't bring myself to socialize. That's how I am at school dances too. Thanks Gods, I only have to go to prom at Jessica's school and mine. After that, no way I'll go to anymore!

As for the rest of my week, I plan on seeing Ghost Rider on Friday (that's today!) and celebrating Jessica's birthday on Saturday. Also, I'm going to see Journey 2 on Sunday with Jessica.

Speaking of Sunday, that's Jessica's 19th birthday! I can't wait to give her the gift I've picked out!! IT'S GONNA ROCK!!!

She's gonna love me forever... Oh wait, she already said she will. I win. She wins. WE BOTH WIN! That's my kinda love story.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Valentine's Day!

I have 3, maybe 4 words to say... BEST VALENTINES DAY EVER!!!!!!! I know Valentines Day isn't technically until Tuesday, but I have school on Tuesday (unless they cancel school again) and I can't see Jessica unless her parents say it's okay.


I seriously had the best Valentines day EVER!!! It started awesome, it ended awesome, IT WAS AWESOME!!! Gods, I'm rambling now!! AHHH!! I need to just say what I need to say... Now a song is stuck in my head.

So she came over around 9:15am ish and we hung out in my room and she gave me my first Valentines gift!! It was awesome too, because she made a poster with candy bars and it has all kinds of AWESOME STUFF on it!!

Let me guess, You can't read that right? That's cool, I'll translate!

To my dear Sugar Daddy,

I've spent many nights looking at the MilkyWay, watching the Starburst, thinking about my Lifesaver. I have been with Nerds, Goobers, and Runts. So I'm so thankful I Skored a Sweetheart, a guy who can make me grin. I wouldn't trade you for a 100 Grand PayDay! Your cooler than all 3 Musketeers put together! You bring Mounds of AlmondJoy and love to my life. I love you so much and you are the missing Reese's Pieces to my Puzzle.

Love your,

In case you hadn't guessed, the Italicized words are the candy bars or candy. IT WAS SO SWEET, RIGHT!!!? YES!!!! IT TOTALLY FREAKIN' WAS!!!! Well after that, we went downstairs and had breakfast really quick before MY SURPRISE was next. I was taking her to see a movie, but she didn't know what we were seeing!

Well when we got to the movie theatre, it was closed until 11:30am... We had a half hour to spare. My mom dropped us off to wait and went to take my sister somewhere. Well we walked to the Kmart right next door and walked around for 30 minutes until we went back to the theater.

Well I took her to see The Vow, which was actually pretty good! Yes, it was a romance, but I don't care! It was still a pretty good movie regardless!

After the movie, I surprised her with Chinese food on the way home! It was great and yummy and delicious, I just wish I knew she had already had Chinese already that week AND LEFT OVERS.... Gods, I felt so dumb. If she had told me, I would have gotten something else. I even remembered instantly that she told me she had Chinese, but I'd forgotten!

Well after we had Chinese, I read her the final part of my surprises, the story I'd written her!! IT EVEN HAD A POEM!! It was totally awesome too, because I read it to her and she totally loved it!! I WAS SO GLAD TOO!!! I worked on that story for 5 or so days, but didn't know if it would be enough for her... I'm so glad it was!!

If you want to read the short story I wrote her, I've posted it on my stories blog! Bookmark it!

Well she had one more surprise for me! when I opened the bag she had, I found a lot of chocolate and candy (that I actually liked)!! She also bought me a case for my 3DS!! That was so sweet too, because it's an awesome case! It just doesn't fit in my pocket very well... which makes it less convenient, but that's okay, because I love the feel the case has! I don't really need play coins anyway, but they are nice to have.

After that, we just hung out and talked, watched movies, and had a really good night!! Around 7:30pm we got Subway, but other then that, nothing else monumental happened.

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I heard Hannah had a really uneventful day on Sunday, her Valentine's day will probably suck and she doesn't even know if she's actually single or still dating Tommy at this point. I wish I knew what to say, I wish I could help her out in some way, I just don't know what to do other than listen to her when she wants to complain about his stupidity.

I sit in my room and wonder how I got so damn lucky! Why am I being SO BLESSED?! Sure, I've tried to live a good life, but I know I have my own downfalls to look back on. I guess I'm just in a really happy patch of happiness (if that makes since) so I won't worry, just smile and keep walking this path of happiness!!

This sums up how I felt after Sunday

Saturday, February 11, 2012

The Saturgrey

"OH MY GODS, YES!!!" I shouted with a loud exclamation.

"YES! That was epic!" Agreed myself.

"Totally freakin' perfect ending!!" Me said.

"We need to hang out more, it's plain epic with you guys!!" I said with a smile.

"AGREED!" proclaimed Me and Myself in unison.

I got out of the car and walked to the door, waving my good friends good-bye.

Okay, so I don't actually have conversations with myself (that I'd share with YOU), but speaking with Me, Myself, and I... I get reminded of things I would normally forget.



Okay, well I had to call Tracy and Jessica and have a three-way conversation to clarify everything, but what ended up happening (to skip the hour and 1/2 of skepticism that continued to happen) was that Jessica and I went to the movies with Jessica's mom and Tracy stayed home and went to her Birthday dinner at 5pm, because 5pm was a terrible time to have dinner and that alone prevented  her from coming...

It sucked that Tracy couldn't come, but she chose her birthday dinner over hanging out, which I won't judge. As for the movie, OMG YES!!! We went to see 'The Grey' and it was a good movie. To be honest, it was not what I expected, but a good movie nonetheless!! It was classified as a drama/action, but it's more like a Suspenseful action movie.

Those wolves scared the crud out of me at times, but it was still a good movie!! Though, I must warn you that they dropped the F bomb A LOT OF TIMES in this movie, it got crazy at how often they would drop the F bomb, like it kept them breathing or something! Also, some people won't like the gore in this movie (It is rated R). I didn't care, because gore doesn't affect me, but it affected Jessica. She didn't like this movie AT ALL!!

I'm gonna have to find a movie buddy that likes suspenseful gory horror movies! I'm open-minded, what can I say? I love every genre! Well after the movie, we went to the McDonalds by my house and had dinner. I went home after that. OH GODS!

On the way home, Jessica's King Size Rice Krispy Treat fell on the floor, so I picked up by the wrapper and squealed, screaming the first thing that came to my mind, which happened to be, "OH MY GOD, IT'S FORESKIN!!"

Jessica completely lost control and began laughing SO FREAKIN' HARD!!! SHE COULDN'T STOP HERSELF FROM LAUGHING!!! So being myself, I held her hand and said, "PUSH!!!" which made her laugh EVEN HARDER!!! All of this happening right down the street from my house! She had to control herself long enough to walk with me to my front door, but it looked hard.

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I am so glad Jessica had a good time tonight! It sucked Tracy didn't go, but I wouldn't let that keep me down, she made her choice, as I made mine. Jessica and her mom are SO AWESOME!!! I LOVE THEM BOTH!!! Jessica's mom is so much fun, she isn't like the typical parent who makes things strict and awkward. I could hold Jessica's hand and still be cute and she didn't mind. I even kissed Jessica once and Jessica's mom acted as though it was a totally normal occurrence (YAY!! I hope it stays that way, I plan on being with Jessica a LONG, LONG time).

Sunday is what really scares me. I don't know if Jessica will like my surprise now. I keep playing it off as something incredible, b-but I DON'T KNOW!!! I'm gonna wing-it and I've been strong and my poker face has gotten better. It's not perfect, but it's getting to where she can believe me easier when I'm scared or unsure and don't wanna give that away.

Everything will be out in the open on Sunday so you'll have to check back in to see what happened...

Tracy's Birthday Party!

Yay! My dad paid the internet bill this morning so I got my internet back this morning! I'm glad it didn't get shut off because this weekend is going to be full OF AWESOME PLANS I'VE MADE!! In fact, it all started last night...


I GOT A HAIRCUT, FINALLY!!! THANK GODS!!!!!  WOO HOO HOO HOO!!!! I also got the pics to prove it!! Are you ready to get your face blown off with the awesomeness?!



Damn I look good! I look freakin... I LOOK FREAKIN' HOT!!  RAWR! MMMM BABY!! Ahaha just kidding, I'm not the selfish type who looks in the mirror and has the charisma of 4 people, I just have the charisma of me! and that's enough.


Friday, OH MY GODS, FRIDAY! It was fun. I won't lie, I got confused towards the end of the evening, but I'm sure it was all an interpretation error. Tracy's Birthday was Friday and on Friday  night, after school (where we had a LAME assembly), I got to go to Retro Bowl for Tracy's birthday! It was super fun! I bought Tracy 'The Journal of Curious Letters' by James Dashner, which is an awesome book!! It's book 1 in 'The 13th Reality Series'! I also got her a $20 Barns & Noble gift card and she said she loved my gift the best out of all of the ones she got! THAT MEANT A LOT!! I knew she'd like it, but I didn't know she'd LOVE IT! SWEET!!!

Anyway, we bowled for 2 hours strait, which was crazy! I got 'bowled out' after about 3 games!! Well I didn't think I'd like her Raspberry Swirl cake, but I ended up liking it! Though it tasted more like a flavored vanilla than anything... Maybe I just didn't taste the raspberry.

So after the party, I went home and called Jessica, when she got home too (Tracy's mom picked her up), and we talked for a few hours on the phone until 12:30am, when I was totally zonked out and needed some sleep. It was a fun night, overall, I just can't wait till Monday, so I can explain to you how EPIC Saturday and Sunday are going to be. THIS IS MY VALENTINES WEEKEND PEOPLE!!!

I get to commence my Valentines plans!! JESSICA IS GOING TO LOVE ME SO FREAKIN' MUCH ON SUNDAY!!! I'm gonna get more kisses than I know what to do with (which is okay with me)!!

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So Dustee, Annabelle, Jessica, and Myself went to Tracy's birthday party. James, this guy who Tracy is crushing on, didn't show up. I, honestly, didn't think he would go. If I barely knew someone and got invited to a birthday party for them, I would want to hang out with them and know them better before doing something like that, even if I wasn't obligated to buy a gift.

Tracy said that James not showing up ruined her entire day, but Jessica and I told her that she shouldn't let it affect her. Tracy is my best friend and I don't like seeing her upset, especially on her birthday, but how could she think he'd come? It would have been weird for him if he had. I just want Tracy to be happy, but if she wants a boyfriend, she has to be willing to create a friendship first. somewhere she (and whoever the guy is) can stand, before walking up the stairs and dating. In my eyes, she's trying to take the escalator with James up to the top floor. I don't think that'll work with him.

I just want her to be happy, y'know? That's all. She has to see Jessica and me be SO HAPPY all the time, I can see how it'd bug her. I was in that boat, not 5 months ago. I know how it feels, to want someone to love you, but to get nothing. I believe Tracy will find the happiness she's looking for, it'll just take time. If she's patient and waits long enough, she'll find a guy that will love her the right way.

During Tracy's party though, her parents began to bicker around the end, which made things awkward for me. I didn't understand what was going on. Her dad seems angry and secluded from the group toward the end and her mom seems a little upset about something around the end too. It started out great, it was fun, and I had a blast, but the ending was a little awkward for me. It was to the point where I'd happily wait in the freezing cold air alone for my  mom to get me and they leave.

In High School (and some college), you have to see your friends parents and that can be either awesome or terrible. This was a first impression for me of Tracy's parents. I'd seen her mom twice before, but not for this long. Not really a good first impression on me. When my mom got to Retro Bowl to pick me up, I happily jumped in the car and said, DRIVE! I than thanked my mom and said, "I LOVE YOU!" repeatedly.

My mom didn't really understand until I explained things. I'm glad my mom does so well around my friends. My dad doesn't care if he crushes my plans, pisses me off, etc... but my mom does and for that I'm thankful.

Overall, Friday was a successful night and I can't wait for the rest of my weekend. I just hope I'm not over exciting Jessica about Sunday, because I don't want to let her down.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Ever heard of a shut off notice?

The past few days have been nothing short of BORING! I don't understand why everything has to be so BORING all the time and if it's BORING, why can't I figure out a way to make it even better then the BORING week I've had? Don't answer, I'd probably get BORED.


My internet got shut off, which really sucks... A LOT!

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Yeah, yeah... Sue me later for having nothing happen this week.

So I totally had one good thing come out of this week so far! I just finished Jessica's Valentines day surprise! Well, not entirely. I still have ONE more thing to finish up. If Jessica didn't read my blog, I would gladly tell you what I'm doing... But I can't. Sorry! What I can tell you, that I've already told her, is that I'm reading her something special.

I still have to finish the rest of it (Yes, that means it's probably a story, but I won't confirm nor deny this statement), but I just hope she thinks its cute. I'm trying to be original and do something out of the ordinary, y'know? Valentines day is one holiday you DO NOT mess up on when you're in a relationship. I got that from Michael.

It's totally legit too, besides the fact that Jessica's birthday is the weekend after on February 19th. Great! I totally forgot until last night when it dawned on me. I was like, OH CRUD! I would have brainstormed ideas, BUT MY INTERNET WAS SHUT OFF! Man, I hate being so dirt poor. Something works for a month or two, then BAM! It's gone.

College is going to turn things around! I'm going to get my degree in English and be successful in the game of life. I was thinking about buying Jessica some jewelry, because she totally LOVES my penguin necklace I bought her, but I don't know if I have time now, because I need it by Sunday. Jessica told me she wanted an iTunes gift card so she can buy apps for her iPad, but I don't know how much to put on it!

I told her I would put $20 on the card, but now I might put more, I'm not sure exactly. I just want it to be a good gift and I'm always unsure with gift card, it seems like an 'easy out' of getting them a good gift. I had to give Kelsey a gift card for her birthday and I felt bad about it. She seemed to love it though...

To make it even worse, Tracy's birthday is THIS FRIDAY!! and I HAVEN'T BOUGHT HER A GIFT YET!!! GAHHH!!!! I AM SO BEHIND THESE DAYS!!!! or this month... ?

I think I'll buy her gift on Thursday, because her party is on Friday and I have Youth tonight and if I miss Sunday AND Wednesday, I'll be blacklisted by my church!

Okay, not really, but they seem to make a big deal about me missing Sunday services. I've missed 3 weeks now and I don't care. Sundays services make me feel like crap because I know God is waiting on me and I don't want to make a step forward so I feel like I'm being STARED AT by everyone and JUDGED! I know, in reality, I'm not, but still... It seems that way to me.

Wednesday services are more laid back and I only have to feel bad about the message, if it affects me (which it usually does). I don't want to upset anyone, but I don't see myself as a strong christian dude. They have to put a lot of dedication into religion and I can't do that. Besides, If I became a super religious dude, all my friends would leave me.

I have one Christian friend right now (at school) and she is starting to annoy me lately. Its nothing against her, she's a great friend, but she just had these habits that annoy me. I can't wait till I graduate.

Anyway, I'm probably going to get Tracy a --- Oh yeah, Tracy started reading my blog lately so it's probably not smart to say what I'm getting her on here until after it happens, huh? Sorry folks, check out my post on Monday (or Tuesday) and I'll tell you all about everything! I've already said too much...

Monday, February 6, 2012

Women in black and the Super Bowl

So pretty much, my toenail hurts like crap still, but I still had to go to school this morning. Oh well. Guess I can cry about it later, as my toenail bleeds all over the place, drenching my sock in a gooey, red liquid... Too graphic? Sorry... (At least you didn't see the pictures I posted on Facebook. Now that was graphic).

Friday (again)

I'm going to re-cap what happened on Friday, because the last blog (skipping 'From the Words of an Author') only covered Friday morning. And let's face it, more exciting things happened Friday evening (Trust me, YES)! I didn't have to go to school, but I had to sit at home, staring at my toe all day. It was probably the most disgusting thing that's happened to me in the past couple of years.

Well Friday afternoon, after sulking all day in the pain of my demise, I eventually put my socks and shoes on (WHICH HURT LIKE A --- Like crap) and walked around the house (advice from my dad). I had too, my dad said it would help. Well it didn't really help.

For Pete's sake, my toenail was RIPPED UP on the sides and are NO LONGER ATTACHED!!  IT'S GONNA FREAKIN' HURT!! My dad apparently had no sympathy, because he said to leave it alone and it'll fix itself. If I go to the doctor, that's a bill he will have to pay and he can't afford it. Thanks dad, love you too.

He didn't say that exactly, but it was implied. I think my moms going to take me on Monday afternoon to see a doctor, I'm not sure yet. Anyway, Friday afternoon, I got to leave the house and see Jessica! That was a FUN time too! I really enjoyed myself!!

Friday was February the 3rd, and it happened to be the Friday after Jessica's eye surgery AND our anniversary! I was so glad we got to see each other, because we had both assumed Red Lobster was the last time we would see each other for a few weeks! This upcoming weekend was when we thought we could see each other again. I'm just really happy that things didn't work out that way.

When I got there, her parents were going to see an old friend (someone that was her dad's best man at his wedding, I think) and Jessica and I were stuck at home alone with her younger brother James. That's okay, we ended up watching the new movie, 'In Time' which was actually really good! I enjoyed it and I'm definitively going to watch it again.

I love watching movies with Jessica, because she makes them more fun. I don't know why, but I can't help but love her company. Maybe it's just the fact that she's my girlfriend, maybe not. All I can be sure of is that I love her company and I hope she enjoys mine too (which she does).


Saturday was really fun too! Despite my pain, I managed to get up and hang out with my best friend Tracy! I had made plans prior to Saturday to see 'The Woman in Black'. When I got there though, it wasn't as scary as I had thought, thank God! I was hoping it didn't scare the living crap out of me, but I was hoping that I left with a good scare or two, which I did. There was this one scene, where Daniel's character placed his hand on the window and this woman appears and screams from the other side. Man, I jumped out of my seat! It was awesome!!

Anyway, after the movie, Jessica and I almost watched 'The Mummy 2', but my dad showed up and didn't wanna watch it.  Instead, we played Wii Sport Resort. Tracy brought her copy because I didn't have it and it totally rocked!! I love playing my Wii and it was even better playing on Saturday night with Tracy!

Side note: I don't understand why my dad doesn't like watching great sci-fi movies or anything with a lot of action in them! All he ever likes watching is boring crud like westerns or 'Christian movies'. I am a christian too and I am not going to hell for watching a good movie or two! He needs to lighten up and enjoy a good alien movie or something, before he ends up becoming more of a square then he already is. I love my dad, but his taste in movies SUCKS!


On Sunday, I decided I would gladly accept my girlfriends offer and come over to her house for Super Bowl Sunday!! I also decided to bring over cheese sticks! WHICH ARE FLIPPIN' AWESOME!!! Anyway, before the Super Bowl, Jessica and I watched Ghost Rider in her room, which was great!

Side note: Her dad has never let me go in her room before, ever, until Sunday night. He was being very nice and I wasn't going to spoil that kind of trust. Turns out, Jessica's dad had to reprogram the TV (they don't have cable, but basic channels) because 41 wasn't on the TV. When we got the TV fixed and alright, the Super Bowl  was already 10 minutes from the half time show! We missed the first half of the game.

Either way, we rooted for the New York Giants all the way!  It was an amazing victory too! I absolutely loved it! The only sucky part was that I had to go home during the post game, which was right after the game, which meant Jessica and I had to say our good-byes.

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I had a really good game, personally, and I can't believe how much fun it was to be at Jessica's house (and I don't just base that on the fact that they had taco's, my favorite food EVER)! I think Jessica was feeling sick or something though, because she seems 'out of it' a lot of the night. If I could make her feel better, I would, because I love her so much and I would do anything for her.

Jessica knows and fully understands how much I love her, but I just wish I could make it stand out on a new level y'know, to make sure it never stops amazing her. I want our love to keep growing deeper and deeper and never stop. I want to find new ways to show that I love her and be as creative as I can in the process.

I know that she's 'the one'. Forget that I'm in High School and forget that I'm only 18 years old. I am in love with Jessica and I fully believe she is the one God picked out to be my other half. I truly believe that and I'm going to love Jessica every day for the rest of my life as if it were my last. I'm never going to stop caring and I'm always going to be there for her.

As far as my toe, It's probably going to hurt like crap for the rest of the week and I hope it just falls off or something so I can move on with my life. I want to do what I can to fix it and if that means I lose my toenail, just let it happen! I'm tired of the pain in my toe, it's gotten old and it needs to stop. I'm walking with a limp, and I look stupid.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

From The Words of An Author

This post is solely dedicated to promoting my best friend Tracy's blog! I may not have many best friends, but the two I have are completely awesome!!

Well This is where I'm supposed to put her awesome profile picture, but she thinks she looks weird (or something) so I can't put that here. Oh well. Next sentence!

Well check out her blog, because It's totally awesome!! You never know what truly happens to someone until you read about it from there perspective! That's why I love blogging, it's totally my opinion and you can't bitch and complain about it (and if you do, it's a wasted effort, because it's MY PERSPECTIVE)!!

Now that I've finally gotten her to blog, my two best friends both blog!! WOOT!! That's good enough for me.

Side note: If you are totally into stalking me and my friends (CREEPER!!), then you can check out her DeviantArt page! She is a good artist (and she doesn't give herself enough credit), so check it out and leave her comments (for Pete's sake (who's Pete, anyway?), she's gonna be a published Author soon)!! 

Friday, February 3, 2012

Do Lobsters have toenails?

The past few days have been kind of crazy. I won't like, the emotional stress has been high and I've been worrying about Jessica a lot. I know I've been trying to be the "Brave, strong boyfriend", but I haven't been, really. I've been scared out of my mind. Jessica even knew I was being strong, because she finally asked me about it. I just need to keep myself distracted for the next couple of days.


So I got to see Jessica again on Tuesday night because Jessica can't eat 24 hours before her surgery (or something like that) and they let her pick where she wanted to eat and she picked Red Lobster. They let me go because she wanted her boyfriend there and it was the last Jessica would see me before her surgery. Also, we were counting it as our 2 month anniversary, because we won't be able to see each other on the 3rd of February.

So they picked me up at my house and I had to sit in the front with Jessica's dad because Jessica's mom had to sit in the back with James, Jessica's brother. I was okay with that at first, but it made me nervous being next to her dad. It always makes me nervous because her dad is the "enforcing parent", if you will, and Jessica's mom seems more "laid back", if that makes since. I don't want to upset either of her parents, but I for sure don't want to upset her father.

I was nervous sitting in the front so I text Jessica trying to distract myself, but Jessica was distracted by the country music playing, so we didn't send many texts in the car. I was okay with that too, because feeling her presence made me happy. I always try to act on my super best behavior when I'm around Jessica's parents, because I want them to like me. I'm not going to act like my normal, crazy, silly self, because I don't want to say or do something offensive by accident. Jessica knows that, I think.

Well Red Lobster was amazing--Wait!

Side note: It's ironic, in my Creative Writing class, we're writing Memoirs about "A First" and I wrote about my "First Job". Well this was my "First time going to Red Lobster" and it was a totally  memorable experience!

I talked to Jessica about small stuff at first, I can't exactly remember details, but I remember telling her a really cool short story idea I got from seeing lobsters in a tank when we walked in!!

Summary: First person story from a lobster living in the tank at a Seafood restaurant. It tells you about the smells and sights it see's every day, living in that tank. One day though, it is picked up and brought into a noisy loud room with sounds of water boiling and crackling under fires. It ends when the lobster is placed in a big pan of water, boiling hot, and the lid goes on, shutting him into complete darkness....

IT WAS AN EPIC IDEA!!!... But I don't think Jessica liked it as much as I did, so I dropped it. When we got to the table, they gave us some really yummy bread that melted in my mouth!! IT WAS SO GOOD!!! I had a food-gasm right there in the restaurant, not caring that anyone saw me, it was that good!!

Side note: According to Jessica, some 13 (ish) year old girl was starting at Jessica and me as we got to our table, I didn't notice, but Jessica said she was getting the look of death from her... I think the girl was just envious of the love Jessica and I share and that's she's not old enough to comprehend such a love as ours.j

Anyway, our waiter was really cool and did her job with excellent performance! She even once, this made Jessica and me smile, was talking to Jessica mom and said, "More tea, my lady?" In a sorta British accent! I was thinking it before I could say it and I saw it in Jessica's eyes too, THAT WAS TOTALLY EPIC!! I didn't see it coming either, it was like, BOOM! Surprise, epicness, table for one!

Side note: Think of me as a dork all you want, but as a writer, I notice the things most people wouldn't, I have too, that's what makes my writing so brilliant, Jessica's too!

Side note (again): For the first time, I saw Jessica order from a braille menu. I knew that Jessica was visually impaired, but I had never seen a braille menu before Tuesday night. It makes me want her to be healed that much more. I love her so much and to see that just solidifies a lot of doubt in my mind. I know, and believe, God will heal Jessica in 2012. I know a miraculous miracle will happen that will take away her Sticklers Syndrome and cure her of all sickness! She will live a life to it's fullest, no worries that tomorrow will be worse than today. I fully believe that. Even though she knows Braille (and Sign language), I know she will use that to help others, not for herself.

Well Jessica got Snow Crab Legs, which I'm guessing are awesome, but I wouldn't know, I got shrimp. I wasn't going to experiment with food I didn't know about at my first time going to a restaurant, because I wanted to leave a good impression on Jessica's parents.

Side note: Something I've noticed is that when your in a High School relationship, you have to make the parents happy. If you don't, you're screwed. If your in college or post-college, the parents rarely come up and you don't usually need approval. Though, in some cases (*ahem* *cough, sputter*...Tracy), maybe in college, you'll still need to make the parents happy. It's different for the individual.

Well dinner was amazing, Jessica was amazing, and I loved everything that happened. After Red Lobster, I thought I was going home, but Jessica's dad (who's name I do not know, I just thought of that...) decided to go to Best Buy. We got out and I looked around the store, holding Jessica's hand.

I remember talking about bragging about Jessica in public, while we walked, and shouting in the store, "I'M DATING A SEXY WOMAN AND YOU'RE NOT!!" or something to that extent. It made Jessica blush, and me too, but I didn't care because I knew that in a relationship, you have to be willing to take risks, love the other person, except them for who they are, etc... And I truly love Jessica as she is, Sticklers n' all. I don't just people based on the outside (Okay, maybe 30 or 40%), but I mostly judge people as who they are, on the inside, as a person. Let me tell you something too, Jessica is the sweetness, nicest, most caring person in the world!! If I didn't have her as my best friend this summer, I would still be depressed, lonely, and without a reason to live.

It's funny how things work out. I know Bethany holds one of the biggest anchors to my heart right now, along with Jessica, because she is the one who put things in motion. I know, and hope, God blesses her for leading me to find him. I also want God to bless Bethany because of how things have worked out. Bethany may be unknowing, but going to Tonka, just for Senior year, is the reason I found Jessica.

I was totally out of the picture, except for God, knowing Bethany wouldn't know until it happened, but she knew Jessica ONLY BECAUSE OF SWITCHING SCHOOLS senior year. For that, I can never thank her enough. I will forever keep Bethany close to my heart as a very good best friend, even when she makes me mad or upset.

I love Jessica, so much, I hope she never forgets that. Yes, I'm growing attached and Yes, I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I just hope that our love never ceases to grow and mature.


Wednesday was a weird day. I text Jessica until her surgery at 1:30pm and then I didn't hear from her for the rest of the day. It was sad and confusing, not knowing, but having to live my life as I wait. I wanted to put in a prop and leave school, go to the hospital and wait for her to return. I was so worried and concerned, that doubt in my mind scaring me. I almost let it win Wednesday night too, until I went to church.

I had a lot on my mind Wednesday, and the service at church was like any other, touching, moving, and made you think. Did I take any action on it other then feel condemned? No, I never do. I go, feel like crap for the way I've been living my life, and leave like I had never shown up. I don't even know If I'll go to church on Sunday now. I really don't like the worship part of service, I feel to compelled to change things. At least I can control myself on Wednesday nights.

Sunday mornings are intense. That's when you get your "praise on" and really cry out to God. I feel childish saying this, but I can never raise my hands to God unless Pastor Les says too, then I know others are doing it too. But choosing to do it willingly, that's another story. I can't take that step, and it's been 6 months, this Friday, when I got saved. I can't raise my hands to God after 6 months? Ugh -_-

Anyway, after the service, Michael asked me if I was okay and I said i was good. He asked me to level with him so I, sorta nervously stuttered, but said I was good again. I respect Michael, so much, I view him as the guy I can talk to about anything. Like how I SHOULD view my own father, but don't. Michael has never lied to me or led me astray. Everything he tells me, I view as wisdom from someone who knows more than me.

But I couldn't burden him with all my problems. It's too much to hold onto. It's hard enough for me. No way I'd share that with him, I'd feel like a bad friend. Bethany used to be open to listening to me and my problems, and I was fine talking to her, but now she's been more... distant, with me. She's always going to be my best friend, forever, but I can't talk to her about everything anymore, because I get the vibe that she doesn't care as much. Of course she cares, she makes that known, but I think she has enough problems of her own to worry about too and I can understand that, that's why I'm keeping my problems to myself.

I was a jerk Wednesday night though, I cussed out my sister because she made me mad and stormed off to my room. I felt awful. Little did I know, karma decided it was going to bite me in the ass on Friday, and quite the bite it took...


My sister has been really moody lately, rude, and totally disrespectful! She's cared about nothing more than herself. I don't know why, but it just seems my problems have been stacking up lately. It seems small and minimal at first, but then, before you know it, you have a problems swimming up to your knees. I'm afraid I'll trip and drown in it too... Which may happen sooner then later.

As part of being a writer, I realize my faults. My biggest fault, and Carolyn's best attribute in writing, is Grammar and Punctuation. I always do something wrong, but Carolyn hardly misses anything. We had to finish our Memoirs on Thursday and edit our partners and I noticed my grammar sucked. Guess I need to work on that.

Well I finally heard from Jessica Thursday night, she randomly called me as I was about to watch Grey's Anatomy with my sister and mom. I ran upstairs and talked with her until she had to go and eat dinner. It was a nice chat because I knew she was okay by hearing her voice and I knew everything was going to be fine, just by hearing her voice. Hearing her voice made everything better. I was out of the dark, cloudy forest and finally reaching the sunny fields ahead.

I went back downstairs and we watched Grey's Anatomy. After it was over, I got in another argument with my sister and, yet again, cussed her out. She has been really bitchy lately and I don't know why. Well I went upstairs, pissed off, and decided to calm down for a second. After about 5 minutes, I called Jessica again. She was watching a movie and I told her to finish, but she wanted to talk to me, so I didn't argue.

I talked to her till we both wanted to fall asleep, around 10:40pm and when I hung up, I had a smile on my face and warm memories to hold onto.


Friday started with a bang, quite literally. Karma, or God, decided I needed to learn a lesson, so at 3:30am I woke up abruptly, banging the toenail from my left foot, strait into the wooden table behind my bed. It literally woke me from my sleep, started bleeding like crazy, throbbed like none-other, and decided to keep doing that to the point where I wanted to cry. It hurt so damn bad that I couldn't focus on anything else for about 10 minutes.

Eventually I walked to the bathroom and looked at it and my the sides of my toenail were ripped up and no longer attached to the skin, while the bottom was.What a great way to wake up in the morning, right? I had planned to see Jessica on Friday afternoon, because it was our anniversary and she really wanted to see me, especially since her surgery. It's only 10:30am on Friday but my toe still hurts. I put some Hydrogen Peroxide on it and even clipped the toenail with some clippers, which hurt really bad as well, but I just hope I don't lose my toe or anything... I made sure I didn't get infected.

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I know why this happened too, I have been a real jerk lately and don't deserve happiness. I should be nice to my sister, but I'm not. Maybe God saw that as wrong. There is no other explanation for this. I've been worried about Jess lately, and I treat my friends fine, but I have to be punished for the way I act around my sister? C'mon... Punish her!

Even Friday morning, we got in a huge argument, because she didn't want to go to school, but she's fine and I'm not. I had to stay home because I hurt so bad, I couldn't put my socks on! She was perfectly fine. Though on the way out the door, she mentioned angrily (and I think behind tears), "You may be getting your wish though... Tommy may be out of the picture!" with that she slammed the door and went to school... Gods, I wish I knew what was going on before I acted like a jerk.

Only I can determine my future, and right now, I feel like a fugitive in a foreign home.