Thursday, December 15, 2011

I was actually wrong?

So this is new and weird. I'm apologizing, again. I don't like being wrong, but I am not perfect, only God is. I know that my finals start tomorrow and I am probably supposed to be studying and not posting this blog, but I have easy finals tomorrow. I'm kinda scared about my prob and stat final, like REALLY scared.

I don't have my Prob and Stat final until Monday, but I'm still nervous. I am so scared that I'll fail this class. I NEED THIS CREDIT TO GRADUATE!!! I was so pissed off at the teacher for resembling my father in MANY ways, that I resented him and didn't want to listen to him, learn anything, and was a complete ass in the process. I am sorry, both to Mr. J and anyone else who found that offensive. I was jumping to quick conclusions and I was wrong. Mr. J cares, but for me, it was hard to realize behind all the resemblance to my own father.

Speaking of my own father, we're doing fine these days. I don't hate or resent him as much these days. Sure, he's still pretty annoying, but only for the minor reasons and nothing too major anymore. He should be going back to work next week too! I'm glad because I haven't gotten to watch any of my recordings since he's been home because he NEVER lets my mom, hannah, or me watch TV. EVER! It's HIS TV when he's home, or so he says. But thats just a minor reason why he's annoying. I'll live 2 1/2 weeks without TV.

I have all these finals going on and I have been so caught up in everything, I never stopped to realize that after today I have 3 days of school until the semester is over. I am strait flippin' out!! I have complete senioritis too! I want to graduate, but I want to semester to be longer too, it makes no since, but yet it makes since to me, in my mind (not like anything else does though).

I don't worry about it though, I know I'll do fine. Finals this week are easy. Next week... Not so sure. I'm nervous about that Prob and Stat test, so nervous. I need to just study, study, study! I don't have to worry about the rest though, because I don't need them to graduate. I just take them for fun, in the hopes of helping my GPA (which didn't work out as well as I'd planned).

In the end, I will come out graduating, I know it. I just need to stop tricking myself into believing the lie that, "I can't..." because it's been doing that all semester and I won't let it bite me in the ass when I'm so close to the end.

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