Sunday, December 4, 2011

Cupid must love weekends

I'm going to tell you something I am so happy to announce (and I'm pretty sure you're happy to hear about it too), I'M IN LOVE!!! I'm so deeply in love, It's as if Cupid shot me in the butt with an arrow (or a volley of 6 or 7 arrows), because I'm strait trippin' on  joy!! I'm so happy right now, I gave my dad a hug and told him I loved him, I told everyone on Facebook that I was happy too, but said Jessica made my life better because of today, which she did do, but she didn't just make it better, she improved it and gave me hope, love, happiness, joy, and so many other happy emotions!!

Let's just start from the beginning. We picked up Jessica around 1pm and went to a thrift store, my dads idea. I thought going to a thrift store was kind of dumb, but I didn't care much because Jessica is my best friend and hanging out with her is all i care about. We were at the thrift store for awhile, but when we left, it was around 2:30 or so, ish, I don't have the times exact, I just know our movie started at 4:30 and we got to the theatre at 3:30.

We had to go early because my parents were going to the Independence Theater and we were going to the AMC Independence. We decided to go to Barnes and Nobles to look around. MAN! There are so many good books!! I saw this one book, Dead like you, by Peter James. It looked SO GOOD! I wanted to buy it but, alas and woe, I didn't have enough money to buy it because I only had enough for the movie. I love going to a bookstore and picking out books I like, it's so fun and great!

So Jessica and I went to the movie theater around 4:05 ish and got our tickets, concessions, and made our way to the room where are movie was being shown. Can you guess what movie we saw? Hint: My favorite animal, in the world, ever, is...? Yes, yes, it's penguins!

So did you guess what the movie was? It was Happy Feet 2!! We finally got to watch it today and IT WAS THE BEST MOVIE EVER!!! I am sooo more deeply in love with penguins now that I've seen this movie, because it was just so amazing and cute! I know, i'm a dude and I just called this movie cute, but get over it, I'm in-- I'm getting to that.

So the movie was awesome! We talked as we waited for my parents to come get us and we had a really good time! It was amazing, I loved the movie, I loved Jessica's company, I loved everything about it! Jessica is the best movie buddy ever! If you ever go to the movies, there's always that one friend who you love going with, well, Jessica is my pick. I love going with her. Because I never like going to the movies alone, she always gets to go with me! So its great for both of us!

After the movie and after we got picked up, we went home and my parents had to go to my aunts so Jessica and I went inside. When we got inside, Hannah and Tommy were home. Jessica and I went up to my room and decided to hang out while Hannah and Tommy stayed downstairs and, well, I don't know what they were doing. I think my sister was eating dinner or doing homework, or something. Not sure. Not important. Moving on!

Jessica and I went to my room and.... Well, the best to explain is through a 1st person story.

~!~

I walked upstairs, knowing Jessica would follow, hoping we could read the novel I had started. I had always enjoyed getting the opinion of my closest and best friend. Not only that, I wanted to bring up our friendship, it had tortured me all week and now that I had the chance, I wanted to take a chance. Though I wasn't sure yet, if I could do it. I was just thinking about getting her opinion on my novel first!

I went into my room and, because she wasn't there yet, I quickly pulled off my hoody because I was already toasty warm and that hoody wasn't helping. I heard a knock on the door. Because it wasn't closed all the way, it pushed open and Jessica came in. She layed on my bed and I pulled my hoody off so I was more comfortable. I put my hoody in my closet and looked over at Jessica, who was comfy on my bed.

She lay on my bed, her head at the foot of the bed, her legs at the head, a pillow under her legs. She looked comfortable. I talked over to lean against the wall, next to the door, across the room, trying to be sly, but fell into the door instead. Jessica laughed and I played it off.

"Whoa, didn't plan on that." i said, nervous as ever

Jessica just smiled. Eventually, I mustered up the courage to go over and sit on the bed next to Jessica.

"What's up?" she asked, a smile across her face

"Nothing much, just hanging out with my best friend."

~!~

Side note: This is not an exact quote to what was said, I'm going best from my memory. But this is just the "before" part, before our talk and-- I'll get to that. Keep reading!

~!~

SKIPPING AHEAD...

I was leaning on Jessica's stomach with a smile and we were talking. It got to the part where Tracy told Jessica this or that and Jessica told me that she had a hunch I liked her more than a friend.

Dang, I thought, she read my mind, she totally knew what I was going to say before I said it!

"Yes, dang you Tracy, I do like you." I was so nervous, I was shaking, "I was so afraid that it would push you away if I told you and you didn't feel the same." I began rambling after that about this and that and a bunch of mushy stuff that really only matters to me and Jessica.

~!~

Sidenote: When I say that I rambled, I'm not joking, I was so nervous, I just kept yapping and I'm pretty sure Jessica thought it was cute. Any way you roll the dice, I rambled and it was funny, looking back.

Also, In the middle of our conversation, Alexis and Tommy came in and stalled the conversation for about 10 or 15  minutes. Eventually, Jessica had to go to the restroom and I told Tommy and Alexis I was trying to have a conversation with Jessica, I wanted to talk about something personal and I told Tommy, "You and Hannah are happy and I'm glad for you, but I want my happiness too, so please let me talk to Jessica. She has to be home at 10pm and I only have a small window of time."

They were both so kind about it, I love them both, when Jessica came back, Tommy pretended Hannah called after him and went downstairs and Alexis said she forgot something and left. I finally had Jessica to myself again, alone.

~!~

After I realized I was rambling, "Oh, I've been rambling, I'm sorry. Tell me what your thinking/feeling Jessica."

She smiled, "I do have feelings for you Zach, I have for awhile."

The love I felt in that moment was overflowing. It was insanity! I was so happy in that moment, it was crazy. When someone tells you the love they feel is indescribable, it's not love. I said my love for Bethany was indescribable and I didn't love her like I thought I did.

The love I felt for Jessica can be described. It's like I'm in a bubble, viewing the world from a new perspective. She makes me happy, she makes me want to be a better person. She is the reason I'm still alive today. If God ever sent down angels to keep you on the right path, he sure did a good job sending Jessica my way.

Knowing Jessica has saved my life. The relationship between Jessica and myself is so great! She understands ME, the real me. I've never had a friend I can be TOTALLY HONEST with. She is the only person I can be 100% honest with, the only person I can tell anything. She NEVER judges me. She accepts me as a whole, loves me as a whole, and she told me that  she's glad tonight happened.

Side note: She told me she didn't want to be in a "dating" relationship right now, because it has only been a month since she broke up with her ex boyfriend, which I totally agreed too. That was a big, main reason why I never brought up my feelings for her.

Jessica said that we can start dating after high school, which I agreed too and said was fine. I don't expect that to mean the day after we both graduate, but sometime after, besides, Jessica is stuck in my life and I'm stuck in hers, we have to get used to seeing each other all the time!

When she got home, she text me and asked, "After tonight, what does that make us?" I had to think for a second, but eventually said, "Well we're both "technically" still single still, but we do have feelings for each other and we're allowed to cuddle, hold hands, etc... so maybe, Mega super close frosty best friends, until after high school? She agreed to that and kept texting the whole night until midnight, which wasn't actually our choice.

The power went out at my house last night and I wasn't happy about. My phone wouldn't be able to charge and it was already close to dying, I was trying to type my blog post, but without the power, no internet, no battery life for my computer, it wasn't going to happen as I planned. That power outage sucked! Oh well.

I'm in love with Jessica and she feels the same, she's in love with me. I'm the happiest man on the planet right now, my crazy Facebook post is proof! I know I don't really care much for my father, but I didn't care anymore about hating him, I just stopped and told him I loved him and gave him a hug (because saying that once, doesn't seem like enough to show the seriousness of this). I kept telling my parents I loved them all night.



They think it's weird that I was so happy, but didn't say anything negative about me loving Jessica! I hope they like Jessica, because she's going to be around for a LONG, LONG TIME!!

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